Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
this hospital has no fireball
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
