I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
