why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
