My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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