I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
