Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
