At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
