i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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