Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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