my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
