I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
