I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
