Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The power of my boobs compel you
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
