she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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