Having a random hookup so left but love u
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
