why didn't you poke me back
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
