By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
