If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
