and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
