Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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