I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh god it's open bar.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
