every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I would ride that face into the sunset
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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