So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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