Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
