is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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