You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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