He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
