Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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