Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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