Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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