I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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