I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
