I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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