my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
