cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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