so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
