laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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