I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
