I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i think i just lost a toe
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
