Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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