i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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