I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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