i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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