Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
