I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
