she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
