I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
