Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
