You're my little dorito
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
