Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
