I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
