I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize