I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
