i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
