First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
