Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
