Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
pop tarts are not kleenex
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
