my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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