It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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