I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
