i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
